


Last To Arrive

by FallingOverSideways



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Camping, Dogs, Fluff, Implied animal abuse, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), M/M, Meet-Cute, Shepard Twins (Mass Effect), Space dog laika, fShiranda, forest ranger au, mShenko, past mentions of gay bashing, space hamster - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:30:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17522030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingOverSideways/pseuds/FallingOverSideways
Summary: Inspired by MaxRev’s art piece for the reverse bang:Feeling lost after leaving the marines, John Shepard takes his sister’s invite to join her in New England. Things are looking up for him, finally, when he loses his dog on a hike. Thankfully Ranger Alenko is nearby to save the day, and make an impression while doing it.John decides to be brave.





	1. Not All Who Wander Are Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MaxRev](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxRev/gifts).



 

 

The forest was vibrant green despite the grey morning, sunlight filtering through a thick haze of clouds threatening rain. The forecast had promised the heavy rain would hold off until tomorrow, but that excluded the current light drizzle. It was cold out, not time yet for the leaves to be turning and falling to the ground, but the dew had frosted overnight. It had felt good to get out in the brisk air a few hours ago and now...

John Shepard was trying hard to ignore the fact that ‘we’ had turned into ‘me’, so the angry claws of anxiety would pass, but his breaths were already shortening and it’d been twenty minutes since he’d seen his dog. Tears stung at his eyes as he desperately searched for the source of the water he could hear, bringing a distant shame and gladness that his twin wasn’t there to see him crumble. Jane’s brand of making him feel better was to heckle him until he got too angry to feel anything else, but these days her awkward attempts at playing the big sister (she was only nineteen minutes older. Nineteen!) pretty much failed.

Maybe he’d been cocky with the knowledge that in the marines he’d had a flawless sense of direction, a reputation for rarely needing to consult a map or compass. Apparently that reputation was going to be defeated by the tall trees and mountains around him.

Hands shaking and determined not to be defeated by a non-hostile, John gripped the straps of his backpack tightly and continued towards the sound he’d been following. Whatever water source it was seemed loud and big enough for a break in the canopy of leaves overhead, giving him a chance to spot the firewatch tower he’d glimpsed earlier.  
  
“Daisy! Daisy?! Here baby girl!”

The tiny white and grey pitbull he’d gotten after finishing his last tour had been a lifeline. His friend Liara had dragged him to a shelter while she’d been visiting, having noticed he still seemed depressed and cited several articles she’d read about the benefits of pet ownership. He’d fallen in love with Daisy’s sweet face and spunky attitude. They’d been constant companions ever since and when she’d pulled her leash free to run after squirrels and god knows what else, he’d been that total idiot that chased after her and tripped over a damn tree root, sending him careening into a gully.

God if anything happ-

“ _Daisy_?”

Ahead the water was louder and a river could be seen through the trees. Being careful of his tender ankle and wary of more roots, he hurried forward. Panting the damp air out in small clouds, he looked around as he left the tree line and spotted a rock faced cliff that would get him high enough to look for the watch tower.

On the other side of the river.

Frowning, John paced along the worn riverside, boots kicking aside the small rocks. There were some areas that were safe to cross, but what if Daisy found him while he was on the other side and tried to follow him?

“Daisy!” Arms crossed tightly to hug himself, he surveyed the tree line. “Fuck. Okay.”

Slowly he crossed the water on rocks barely submerged until he was halfway there, gaze jumping from the safest route to take and the trees behind him. The sudden ringing of his phone startled him enough that he windmilled, left foot falling into the water up to his lower thigh. Managing to just barely avoid falling in altogether, he pulled back onto a safer outcropping and pawed frantically for his phone.

Pulling it out from his bag’s pocket, the call went to voicemail as he thumbed the lock open on the screen. Before he could get a good look at the number, the Blasto ringtone started up again and he immediately answered, heart in his throat. “Hello?”

“Hi!” The raspy masculine voice was professional, clear despite the hiccuping call. “Are — Daisy’s owner?”

“Oh my god, is she okay? Do you have her? Is she hurt?” Despite the cold water soaking his feet and the mud from the gully on his clothes catching the wind over the open water, John stayed where he was. Huddled around the phone, he was terrified of losing service.

“-e’s fine. Are -OU okay, -r?”

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. No, no. I’m fine. Freezing my ass off and embarrassed at how lost I am right now, but fine.”

“Hav- -y idea where you- landmark?”

“I’m standing on some rocks in the river. We were on the Penobscot trail heading west when she got free. We were south of one of the towers.”

“Stay there. Comin—-Call — Maggie.”

“Maggie?”

“- call for—-ggie.”

“Call for Maggie. Got it.”

The call disconnected and John wasn’t sure if the man had hung up or if the call was dropped. Letting out a slow breath, he took another, deeper one now that he knew Daisy was safe and hopefully on her way soon. He wanted to stay in the open where it was easy to spot him, not to mention catch some of the sun as it tried to burn through the clouds, but it was stupid to stay in the water and he carefully made his way out.

“Okay.” Hands cupped around his mouth, John let out a sharp whistle that was louder than any shout he could have managed and yelled, “Maggie! Maggie! Over here!”

He felt stupid, not sure if he was doing the right thing, if Maggie was a dog or a person or hell, a fucking drone. He kept at it until he heard a noise in the bushes and an excited ‘boof’. A large dog with fluffy, curly hair was bounding through the woods towards him, a small backpack and harness on her. “Maggie?”

The cream colored dog ‘boofed’ again and made as if to jump on him, but reared back as if she remembered she wasn’t supposed to, and instead danced a bit on her hind paws before landing to spin in excited circles. Then his eyes caught movement and he looked up to see a man exiting the tree line.

For just a moment, John felt like he’d entered the beginning of the best dream he’d ever had.

  
“Maggie, pinch me.” The dog just whined a little and licked his fingers instead.

Dressed in a forest ranger uniform was a very attractive, very fit man with thick dark hair and sun kissed skin. The smile on his face at spotting John was second only to the sight of Daisy peeking out from the man’s shirt. The minute the pup saw her owner, she scrambled to get to him and the ranger gently extracted her from his shirt to hand her over, where she eagerly climbed John’s chest and attacked his face with kisses as he giggled and tried to keep a hold of her.

The forest ranger clicked his radio on, the sound of static answered with a “Found him”.

“That was quick,” a woman’s voice replied.

The ranger watched John and Daisy fondly as he grabbed hold of Maggie’s harness to clip a leash back on her and speak into his radio. John absently noticed the other end of the leash was attached to the ranger’s belt. Genius.

“He gave good directions.”

“Good qualities in a man. He cute?”

Another woman’s voice answered. “Be professional, Williams. Get his phone number Kaidan, you’ve been single too-“

Shepard watched in wonder as the man’s cheeks flushed. “Guys, I’ll check in with you later!”

“That’s a yes, Gianna.”

A man’s voice joined the chatter. “Wait, is this the guy that lost his dog? You found him?”

  
“Steve! Where have you been? Nevermind, Kai-“

The radio was sharply turned off.

  
“Kaidan, huh?” John asked as he took a leaf out of the rangers book and yanked a wiggling Daisy into his damp hoodie. He hadn’t put on too many layers knowing the exercise would warm him up, but now he regretted it as he fought not to shiver. “I’m John. They make you wear shorts in this weather?”

Not that John was complaining about the view. At all.

“Kaidan Alenko.” The other man shook his hand, his skin warm against John’s, and seemed to finally realize his shirt was still gaping open. Slightly flustered, he quickly buttoned it. “And uh, no, that’s a me thing. I tend to run hot.”

“That you do.” John’s eyes widened as soon as he realized he spoke that out loud, but Kaidan just seemed amused.

  
“Uhm…”

“You’re freezing.” The ranger frowned in concern, eyes scanning him for injuries as he pulled a thermos from the side of his backpack. “Coffee? We only had powdered cream this morning, but it’s pretty good.”

“Thanks.” Jane liked to joke that her brother’s blood was 50% coffee and 10% whiskey. And damn, it was definitely better than the crap they usually drank. John took a hasty gulp and it was like being hugged from the inside as the warmth slid down. It was hard not to make obscene noises. Instead he distracted himself and looked over the different stickers covering the metal, most of them different national parks. “You’re right. It’s good.”

“You up for some stairs? We’re pretty close to the tower. One of the local kids has been keeping watch, so it’ll be warm, even if he’s not there.”

“Nothing is hurt worse than my pride right now. Besides, what would my old captain say about me quibbling over some stairs?”

“Tower, Mags! Take us to the tower.” Kaidan smiled at him as the dog guided them north, the scent of sap from the trees stinging the air as she nosed at the ground. “Army?”

“Marines. Semper Fi.”

“Ah. Air Force. Briefly.”

John grinned widely as he tried to keep Daisy from chewing on his ear. “We used to call you guys the chair force.” He hadn’t seen tags underneath the ranger’s open shirt, only a lightly furred chest.

“Not the worst I’ve heard.”

“Briefly?” He wondered out loud and then regretted it when he saw Kaidan’s shoulders hunch. But the ranger took a deep breath, let it go, and offered a genuine smile.

“I was an engineer, career driven, but there was an incident and I was honorably discharged.”

“I was medically discharged.” Kaidan immediately turned around, but John held up a hand. “I’m fully recovered, just not quite what I used to be. Not to mention the nightmares, but that’s just the usual package they send you home with, right?”

“Oh, good. Great.”

“Yeah.”

The walk was petered with the crunch of their boots on pine needles and leaves as they found their way back to a trail, Kaidan sharing stories as different things caught his eyes to make John less embarrassed about what happened. The way his attention would get diverted like a dog scenting a squirrel was adorable.

Before he knew it, they were climbing the high fire watch tower, his thighs burning and his ankle twinging. The ranger noticed him favoring his left foot and raised an eyebrow at him, but he shrugged as if it were no big deal. At the top John took a moment to take in the view of distant mountains and the carpet of tree tops while Kaidan unlocked the door and Maggie danced around them. Taking out his phone, John couldn’t help but snap some pictures.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” Kaidan was looking at the area John had been staring at, the afternoon sun burning away the last of the morning fog, rain clouds hanging around the tops of the mountains. “You can almost see the ocean from here. We’ll get a nice Indian Summer before it really starts getting cold. There’s also this great harvest festival every year on the pier in Ogunquit, they have a photo contest-”

The sound of the camera’s shutter on the phone had the ranger turning to see that he was the subject in the last photo. John grinned widely, feeling bold, even with Daisy trying to chew on his earlobe. “Yeah, beautiful.”

Maggie boofed at them from where she stood against the railing, breaking the moment between them. Kaidan gave him a small smile before guiding them inside.

The room on the platform was small as expected, just the basics with large windows on every wall: small bed, small desk, small kitchenette and an Osborne Fire Finder in the middle. Maggie was set free as soon as the door was closed and she immediately found a tennis ball in a cardboard box marked ‘junk’.

“It’s a good thing we were close to the Beech tower. It’s only four flights. Ryder’s not in, he probably went to check in on those campers setting off fireworks. I swear, him and Brodie- our local mechanic?- are in cahoots.” Kaidan was busy gathering things as John sat down in the desk chair. The rest of the small space looked lived in and he felt weird about sitting on someone else’s bed.

“Cahoots, huh?”

Kaidan looked over from where he was setting up a French press of coffee and gave a small laugh as he tossed over his forest ranger’s jacket from his bag. “Yeah. They’re either trying to take over our job…”

“Or?” Daisy was dropped on the floor while he exchanged the muddied hoodie for the dry jacket, the pup instantly hopping over to attack Maggie’s tail. The inside of the collar just barely had a scent and he tried to place it, knowing it was probably Kaidan’s. It could have been aftershave or sunblock for all he knew, but it smelled nice.

“Or,” the ranger grabbed the medkit and crouched in front of John. “They’re finding too many excuses to talk to each other.”

“Hmm.” Looking down at him like this was more intimate than John was prepared for as the ranger took off the boot on his injured foot and he cleared his throat. “Having a hard time just asking him on a date?”

Kaidan’s head came up, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “What?”

Blushing, John hurried to continue. “Ryder and Brodie?”

“Oh, yeah. Them.” Their gazes held a minute before Kaidan’s brown eyes focused on the injured foot, warm thumbs sweeping along his ankle bone and fingers gently cradling his heel. Having not been around anyone except doctors and his sister for a year, the touch shot through him and made his pulse race. “They’re worse than I was in high school. Heckling each other, playing games all night. The goading. It gets lonely out here for the firewatchers, but this,” Kaidan looked up at him again and said quietly, “Is definitely more than Gil keeping him from climbing the walls.”

The hands on his bare skin and the words caught between them tempted him to be stupid, to kiss Kaidan. The ranger certainly had a nice mouth. This close he could see a thin scar bisecting his top lip and another beneath his full bottom lip.

“I’m going to wrap it up, but I think you’re fine. Just take it easy. If it’s not better by tomorrow, though, I’d see your doctor.”

“I don’t really have one right now. I just moved into my sister’s from out of town.”

“Oh?” Kaidan hunted for the bandage and started winding it carefully around John’s foot. It was nice to be taken care of and all he wanted to do was melt in the chair and never leave. “Well,” the ranger grinned up at him and it left him breathless. “If you’re local, I recommend Dr. Chakwas. She’s great, an honorary member of the forest service.”

“Okay, thanks, but here’s hoping I’ll never need her professionally.”

“You should hear her sing when you get enough brandy in her.”

“Ah. You guys like karaoke or something?”

Snorting, Kaidan sat back and started putting everything away, neat and orderly. “Honestly, I think we just do it to give each other a hard time. Most of us aren’t all that great, but Karin, Dr. Chakwas? She knows how to be funny about it.”

With the large medkit closed, it was shoved into its place at the foot of the bed where Maggie and Daisy were tussling for the ball. John absently felt bad about the state of the sheets and muddy paws, but Kaidan didn't seem to care. He must have seen the look on John’s face, however, and laughed.

“Oh, it’s Ryder’s last week. He was only here for the summer and stayed on a bit for the start of fall. Not to mention he’s usually a chaotic mess and I doubt he’d notice. Crap.” Kaidan fumbled for the radio at his belt next to his gun and turned it on. Not before changing the channel, John noticed. “Hey Scott, it’s Ranger Alenko. Where are you?”

“Kaidan! What’s this I hear about you finally getting a date?”

John grinned as he saw Kaidan roll his eyes and started tugging the sock back on carefully over the bandage. “No, I think you’re projecting again, Scott. How’s Gil?”

“Uhm.”

“Just fine, Alenko,” a new voice drawled on the radio. “Hey, when are you joining us for cards?”

“When I have money to lose and a better poker face.”

“Lies. I’ve heard Vega and Liam complain about your poker face.”

Fascinated as John was by Kaidan’s hand still on his leg, he was curious. “What do they play?”

“Is that the guy with the lost dog? Does he want to join in?”

“Wow, word gets around fast. Small town?” John asked .

“Yes, but also, it gets monotonous out here. Nothing else to gossip about.” Kaidan made sure his thumb was off of the button before he murmured, “They play just about everything, but Gil’s a shark at poker. You wanna join in, you either have to be good at winning or losing gracefully.”

“Noted. Used to play with my squad a lot.”

Grinning widely, Kaidan thumbed the radio switch. “Looks like you might have another person joining you, Brodie.”

Gil let out a small whoop. “Great! Maybe I’ll finally have a challenge. We meet every first Friday, usually at The Salty Oyster or someplace by the Old Port. Kaidan, give him my number.”

“Sure.”

“Wait,” Scott interjected.

“Ryder, get your ass back to the tower, will you? We need your Jeep.”

“On it, but-“

“See you soon.”

Kaidan seemed to realize that he was still holding onto John’s leg. “Oops, sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” John met his gaze as the ranger carefully maneuvered the boot back on. “I mean, your hands. They’re...warm?”

Chuckling, Kaidan thanked him and stood to finish the French press, refilling the empty thermos and rounding up the dogs. Ryder was there in a few minutes, a kid in his early twenties who eagerly told them the hikers setting off the fireworks were college girls attempting to skinny dip in the wrong springs. “They were so full of themselves I didn’t even tell them where the hot springs actually are.”

“Probably a good thing. I really don't want to have to clean up another campsite,” Kaidan complained.

“I thought there was no camping here?” John asked.

“There isn’t. Not here. Doesn’t stop a lot of people.”

“Confiscated their booze for you. I know you like whiskey,” Scott grinned at him and brandished a bottle.

Narrowing his eyes, Kaidan took the bottle. “That’s nice of you, Ryder. I know you weren’t tempted to keep this, being underage and all.”

Clearing his throat, Scott replied, “Not at all, boss man. Well, the Jeep’s ready to go. Gil just fixed her up, so she’s purring like a kitten.”

“What did you do to her this time?”

“Nothing!” Scott became mildly defensive. “Well, nothing Gil couldn’t fix.”

“If I didn’t know what a terrible driver you were, I’d think you did it on purpose. Any casualties this time?”

“No trees were harmed in the making of this accident.”

“All right. Check in with Gianna, I’m going to drive John and Daisy out to their car.”

Leaving a pouting Scott behind, John gave directions to the truck he borrowed from his sister. They took a small dirt road just big enough for the old Jeep Cherokee and it was a fun ride, bouncing along the uneven road. Maggie was in the back, nose out the open window and making whuffling noises as they went. Daisy kept escaping John’s arms, climbing Kaidan and nipping at his fingers, but he didn't seem to mind. He just chuckled and played with her while keeping an eye on the road.

Yeah, John was a goner. “What kind of dog is Maggie?”

“Goldendoodle.”

“A what?”

Kaidan’s laughs were a new favorite of John’s. “It’s a poodle and golden retriever mix. Great for allergies, they’re very intelligent and full of energy. Easy to train. Mags used to belong to a co-worker of mine.” He sighed. “Jenkins got shot by some assholes hunting out of season. Maggie was a huge help in hunting them down. She kind of adopted me after that.”

They arrived at the small parking area at the trailhead and John pointed out the old truck he borrowed from his sister. “There we are. God, let’s never tell Janie I got lost, huh Daisy?”

Kaidan stared at him. “Jane Shepard is your sister?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Damn.”

Hand half heartedly on the door release, John raised an eyebrow. “You know her?”

The ranger laughed and rubbed a hand over his face. “She wanted to set me up on a blind date with her brother.”

Now that he said something, John vaguely recalled his sister ranting about his one night stands and knowing the perfect guy to set him up with. It made him pause as he left the Jeep. “Oh. Yeah. Shit. Um.”

Kaidan looked up, puppy brown eyes wide and waiting.

“Not that I want to give my evil half any credit, but, would you? Be interested? In a date. With me.” Goddammit. Why was he so much smoother at hookups than actual dates?

Because they mattered.

A bright smile lit Kaidan’s face. “I’d like that. I’ve got a busy week before I go up north for a Forest Service seminar, but, what about breakfast? Tomorrow maybe? There’s this great place I know that allows dogs on the patio.”

“Yeah.” John matched his smile. “I’d like that.”

“Great! Give me a call or text when you get home and I’ll send the details.”

“Thanks, Kaidan.” John closed the door and bent over to look through the open window. “For everything.”

“Anytime, John.” And with a lingering glance, Kaidan drove off with Maggie still hanging out the back window, tail wagging as she boofed goodbye at them.

Sighing, John cuddled Daisy close and headed over to the truck, belatedly realizing he still wore the ranger’s jacket, snug on his broader shoulders. He supposed he could just give it to him in the morning and beamed the whole way ‘home’ with thoughts about the date.

It wasn’t until he tiptoed through the kitchen to avoid his sister and set Daisy free that he realized...

“ _Shit_.”

Jane’s head popped around the corner from the great room, eyebrow raised as she took in his crazy appearance and even went as far as to snap a picture of him for her Instagram. “What the fuck happened to you?”

“Uhm. Fuck.” He told her the shortest version of the story he could and when she was done cackling, she asked, “So what has your panties up your ass?”

Dropping into a kitchen chair, he mumbled, “I forgot to get his number.”

Jane promptly smacked him upside the head and he yelped, swatting at her. “What the fuck, Janie?!”

“I was hoping it would restart your brain, numbnuts. Didn’t he call you from his cell phone when he found Daisy?”

John stared at her, eyes wide and immediately pulled out his phone and started texting the number that last called him.

When Kaidan started replying back, John groaned at his stupidity and buried his head under his arm on the table.

“Maybe I was wrong about setting you and Kaidan up. Clearly he deserves someone that uses their brain occasionally.”

“Where’s your girlfriend?”

“Why, so she can save you?”

“You need to marry her so I can finally have a sibling I like.”

“Tough shit, amoeba. You’re stuck with me either way.” She came up behind him and gave him a tight hug across the shoulders, easily mistaken for a choke hold.

“Yeah, yeah.” He was already ignoring her for Kaidan’s messages. Many, many messages. Off and on for the rest of the night they talked, everything from ‘war stories’ to video games and pictures of their dogs. John happily sent pictures of Jane that could be used as blackmail and saw ones in return that he’d never seen of her.

Finally he had to hide from his smug sister and didn’t come out of his room for the rest of the night.

~*N7*~

 


	2. My Name On Your Lips

~*N7*~

The place Kaidan wanted to meet wasn’t something he expected. Jane had nodded and waved her hand when John had researched the place after a hot shower the night before, her only comment being ‘Kaidan’s a bit quirky, but we keep him around anyways. He’s a good egg.’ Then she’d started cackling at some inside joke and went to pester Conrad for him.

John had been stateside awhile, finished his recovery in North Carolina and only recently moved in with Jane when he felt at a loss at what to do. She was still active in the Coast Guard and told him to ‘get your ass home’. It was win/win. When she was gone on patrol, he’d take care of the renovations and when she was home, the house was big enough so they each had their own space.

As much as they bonded over their shitty childhood, time apart was good for them.

When he decided to stay, Conrad Verner had been recommended to ship his things north. Including his motorcycle. The man was a bit strange, but seemed to hero worship John after having heard stories from his old squad.

Now the guy looked for any reason to call or extend the time it took to deliver his things.

The classic Chevy Jane had was nice, too nice for the yard care most people seemed to keep trucks for, but she rarely drove it, preferring her own motorcycle. Daisy seemed to like exploring inside but struggled to jump onto the seat whenever she got stuck in the footwell. The thought of getting her a dogseat had passed his mind, but he didn’t want to become one of those ridiculous dog owners.

A small, squeaky bark had him glance down after he turned into the park and he couldn’t help but smile as she attacked the blanket that had fallen into the footwell with her. Looking up again, he was intrigued by the sight of the skeletal remains of an old stonework mansion framed by trees on the left. In the fog leftover from the previous night’s rain, it was almost haunting with the foghorn and light caught in the mist.

It seemed a few runners were out this early and he rolled down the window to the brisk morning air and the scent of the ocean that couldn’t be seen yet. The smell made him nostalgic for their dad and time spent with his side of the family in Boston.

As he followed the road, the ocean hazily came into view as well as the old batteries of the decommissioned army fort framing the narrow beach up high on rocky cliffs dead ahead. It made him wonder if Kaidan was some sort of history buff, but then the picturesque lighthouse came into view as they turned right and went up the hill. It looked like something you’d see on postcards and calendars, with a small gift shop and diner set back aways that already had several cars lined up outside.

Not sure what Kaidan’s car looked like, he parked and got out, nervously attaching Daisy’s leash and looked across the road for the picnic area. The tiny pitbull charged on, hopping and barking hello at any nearby joggers who either just nodded at them or stopped briefly to offer a quick rub behind her ears.

One woman looked up from petting to greet her owner and did a double take. It wasn’t the double take of someone catching sight of his new scars, the tiny ones on his jaw or the ugly ones hidden under clothes. Some of his nerves disappeared and he took a deep breath.

“Good morning,” he greeted.

“M-morning,” she gave a flustered smile, eyes dancing over him as she stood.

Nodding to her, he gave a subtle tug on Daisy’s leash to dislodge her from where she was begging for more pets. God, that was the boost to his confidence he needed.

The picnic area was sheltered by wooden roofs and trees, peppered with trash cans and park grills. The far end even had a small stage for events. Beyond that, was a long green field framed with a chain link fence where a man played fetch with his dog.

It was too early for tourists, just him and Kaidan and the dogs. Daisy was already trying to run forward, nearly levitating off the ground in her bright pink harness, so he unclipped the leash as soon as the gate was secured behind them.

The jeans Kaidan had on were worn and snug, tucked into his hiking boots. John couldn’t help but stare at the ass he’d only glimpsed in the ranger shorts as the other man crouched down to take back the tennis ball and toss it again. The henley he wore under the down vest fit his shoulders nicely, tightening when he heard Daisy yip and turned to see her run for Maggie.

Kaidan smiled at him, giving John another boost to his ego as he saw the ranger sneak a subtle once-over as he put his sunglasses on his head. “Morning! Glad you found it ok.”

Glad he wore his nice jeans with the scarf that brought out his eyes, he strolled forward. “Good morning, Kaidan.”

The greeting came out with a little too much confidence and he sounded like ‘Commander Shepard’. The nickname oh so lovingly given to him by his squad.

It seemed to work for Kaidan though, his eyes darkening and his breath hitching.

John stopped close to the other man, hesitant and not sure how to greet him. The awkward little smile Kaidan gave him showed the same turmoil, causing him to ask, “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh,” Kaidan murmured. “Uhm.”

Cringing, John took a step back. “I’m so sorry. I haven’t been on a regular date in forever and-“

“A regular date? What constitutes as an irregular one?”

“Eh heh. I don’t know about you, but it was hard dating in the marines. Just kind of focused on my career and used the usual,” something prevented him from his normal vulgarity, “...apps. When I got lonely.”

Unease flickered across Kaidan’s face. “Booty calls?”

“Yeah. Does that bother you?” God he hoped the ranger wasn’t some sort of-

“Depends. Are you just looking for sex? Or…” Kaidan trailed off, brows furrowed.

Taking another step back, all of John’s confidence from before seemed to fail him as he stuck his hands in his jean pockets. “No. As for, well, let's be honest. You’re gorgeous. But I like you. If you hadn’t guessed from all the messages last night. So I was hoping for more. A lot more. If you’re interested.”

Kaidan came closer, taking back those two steps, his husky voice murmuring, “Then kiss away.”

Before John could even get his hands free, Kaidan’s were framing his face and doing the honors, full lips soft against his. And just like the rest of him, so warm. Kissing back, John gently placed his hands on the other man’s waist, letting him take the lead.

It was nice to just kiss someone again. No rush, just leaning into each other and finding places for your hands as you learned how your mouths could fit together and just...

Suddenly they were falling over. Kaidan knocked into John and landed them in the damp grass. Maggie stood over them and boofed excitedly as they tried to right themselves, limbs going every which way. Daisy charged over in her puppy hops, landing on top of them and going for their faces with kisses.

Laughing, they managed to right themselves and get up, Kaidan cupping a wriggling Daisy to his chest as he looked for his sunglasses. “At least we didn’t land in any poop. We have baggie stations everywhere, but the tourists like to pretend they can’t read.”

“Here.” John held the sunglasses up and when Kaidan looked at him, gently returned them to their perch in soft black hair.

“Thanks, John.”

“Mm. I like that.”  
  
Kaidan whistled for Maggie and turned back to him to offer Daisy. “What’s that?”

“My name. On your lips.”

“Wow.” The ranger stared at him incredulously before he started chuckling. “Those lines usually work for you?”

“Uh.” John felt himself blushing and eagerly led the way back to the parking lot. “I didn’t mean it in that way?”

“What way did you mean it? Oh, let’s stop at my car. I have some things for you.” Kaidan took the lead and headed over to an orange Land Rover with a rack on top. Maggie boofed and leaned up against the side as the ranger opened the back to shuffle through some bags.

“I meant almost no one calls me John. My evil half and I like to challenge each other with unique and insulting nicknames, and most of my friend’s are in the service or freelancers. So, usually all I hear is ‘Shepard’ everywhere I go.” Kaidan turned back to him, holding a small stack of video games, eyes curious. “I like the way you say my name.”

The small smile on the ranger’s face was worth the admission. Kaidan locked the car and held out the games. “Okay. John it is. You know, I think your sister is in the same dilemma. We’ll have to start calling you both by your first names.”

“Call her Janie. She’ll love it.”

Laughing, Kaidan tugged on Maggie’s harness. “Why do I get the feeling she really won’t?”

He grinned down at him and took the stack. “Because she really won’t.” Looking at the games, he felt giddy. “So this is why you were interrogating me last night? Thank you.”

“No problem. I know you and your sister usually just play online together, but you mentioned how bored you’ve been, waiting on a job offer. So I grabbed some things.”

Seeing a slip of paper peeking out of one of the jackets, he tugged on it to see notes about the type of game it was and some starter tips if he was interested in playing it. It was really fucking cute. He’d had a crazy ex that was OCD a few years ago, but the man in front of him just seemed organized, not particular like she’d been. He was dating a nerd.

Kaidan pointed down at the different games in the stack. “I know you usually play mmos and shooters with Jane, so I gave you some really cool sci-fis. I added my favorite fantasy and mystery games. My roommate is into puzzles, so she added a couple.”

Utterly charmed, John took his hand and kissed the back of it gently. “Thanks, Kaidan. This is great.”

Jaw dropped, Kaidan stared at him in wonder for a second before blushing and smiling widely. “You’re welcome.”

Daisy yipped from inside John’s coat, mad at being stuck in one place for so long. Laughing at her, they wandered over to Jane’s truck for him to deposit the discs and get Kaidan’s jacket back. The fog was retreating out to sea and it wasn’t as cool as it was before. The ranger put both the jacket and his vest in the Rover and walked with them to the patio area outside the diner.

“You know, you don’t strike me as the type to have a bright orange car.” Or to have a Land Rover, those things were expensive and the forest service usually didn’t pay that sort of money.

Kaidan snorted. “My mom’s passive aggressive gift to me for becoming a forest ranger. It’s better than the Air Force, but still too similar. Her family’s pretty wealthy. I didn’t want to accept it, but my Jeep finally died and it was impractical not to. She told them to give me the brightest color they had on the lot, for safety.”

“Ah. Only child.”

Kaidan winked at him and tapped his nose as they sat at a small table outside the diner with a sightline from the mansion to the lighthouse. With the fog dissipating, it was quite the view. “Miracle baby, too. My parents were told they’d never have kids of their own. I was utterly spoiled growing up.”

It was a story very different from the Shepards’ childhood.

A balding man stuck his head out from the diner’s side door. “Hey, Alenko! Where ya been?”

“Hey Gardener. Getting ready for winter, pretty much. You? How’s business?”

The older man came over with a lopsided grin on his face, wiping his hands on an apron before reaching to pet an excited Maggie. “Quieting down now that summer has ended. Only have you assholes to feed now. Who’s this? New guy?”

The man screamed ex-military and John saw Kaidan glance at him before answering. “Jane Shepard’s brother. Ex-marine. He’s staying with her while he finds his feet. John, this is Rupert Gardner. His family used to be the lighthouse keepers before the state took over. Now he owns and runs the shop and diner.”

John shook the proffered hand, unsure of the situation and letting Kaidan steer the conversation.

“It’s an honor to meet the bastard who survived growing up with that pistol.” Gardner whistled.

“Thanks. It’s good to meet you.”

“And what’s this little angel’s name?” A grizzled finger skritched under Daisy’s chin. The pitbull enjoyed it for a second before grabbing the man’s finger with her paws and started to chew on it. “You can’t hurt me sweetie. These finger’s haven’t got any feeling left in ‘em.” Gardner winked at John. “Used to own a pizzeria. Heat from the oven messed me up more than any live fire.”

“Her name’s Daisy. I got her from the shelter by Main St.”

“Good man. He going with you up north for that tree hugger’s pow wow?”

“No. He’s my date.”

Gardner frowned and looked between them. Just as John started worrying it was all about to go south, the man rolled his eyes and muttered, “Must run in the family. And a breakfast date? Man, this generation has it all backwards. Normally I’d give you the shovel talk since we’re pretty fond of Alenko, but what with you being Shepard’s brother? Yeesh. I don’t know which side to give my condolences to. So! Food. What’ll it be? You and Mags want your normal?”

“Please. And the same for Daisy?” Kaidan gave a questioning look at John, who nodded curiously.

“Coming right up. And the other Shepard?”

Hastily, John skimmed the laminated menu, ordering a coffee and the first thing that looked good. The dog bowls on the patio by the wall were already filled with fresh water, so he set the pitbull down and mimicked Kaidan by hooking the leash on the peg above it. Immediately Daisy started hopping around, trying to catch Maggie’s tail.

“So.” John started hesitantly when they were alone. “You’re out?”

Kaidan looked up from putting the menus away. “Mm. Oh. Pretty much, yeah.” John raised an eyebrow and Kaidan laughed. “I’ve only dated one other guy, but I’ve never hid that I’m bi. Never really broadcasted it either. I don’t like unloading my business onto other people.”

“How did your parents handle it?”

“You know, it’s weird. Ty asked the same type of questions on our first date. My dad seems to have reluctantly come round to the idea, I think he just wants me to be happy. Ma is at the point where she’s fine with it as long as I marry a woman.”

John reached across the table and squeezed Kaidan’s hand. “I’m sorry. Sounds like it wasn’t easy.”

The ranger swiveled his wrist and caught John’s hand before he could pull it away, threading their fingers together and idly rubbing his thumb along the skin. The touch was unexpected and sent tingles up his arm as Kaidan continued. “They found out during probably the worst time of my life. As hard as it was, it worked in my favor.”

Gardner came out and Maggie boofed excitedly, spinning circles until he placed two small bowls of chopped up chicken and veggies on the ground. Even though Daisy had snacked before they left, she eagerly went shoulder to knee with the goldendoodle and they mowed down the food, tails wagging.

“Here you boys go, I’ll just leave the pot, huh?” He said as he placed two mugs, a large thermos and cream on the table between them.

“Thanks, Rupert.”

“Sure thing.” Gardner gave a mock salute and went back inside, leaving Kaidan to turn back to their conversation.

“You don’t have to tell me everything.”

Kaidan smiled and squeezed his hand before letting go to make his coffee. “I don’t mind and if things go well, you’re going to have to know sooner than later.”

John added his usual mountain of sugar and splash of cream. “How so?”

“The scar.”

That froze John mid-mixing, and he looked up to see Kaidan sipping his coffee rather nonchalantly. “From your time in the Air Force?”

The ranger shook his head. “Not exactly. I dated Ty while I served. He was really sweet, but I just don’t think we felt that connection. He’s married now. But I’m getting side tracked. Sergeant Vyrnnus.” Kaidan took a gulp of his coffee like it was something stronger. “He never liked me. When he saw me hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends at a pool hall, he put two and two together. He attacked us when I was walking Ty home.”

John felt cold all over. With their shitty childhood they’d seen their share of gay bashing, all of it the stuff of nightmares, but they’d hid their own sexualities until they were strong enough to fight back.

Kaidan was holding his mug with both hands and staring into it like it held the secrets of the universe. Unsure of what to do, John hooked his foot around the other man's.

Kaidan smiled at him, moving his leg against John’s. “Thanks. It was pretty bad, but I don’t think he thought I’d fight back so well.”

“Most people with small minds don’t think at all.”

Laughing, Kaidan relaxed back in his chair as Maggie came over and placed her chin on his knee, whining. “Thanks, girl.” He rubbed her ears. “Well, Ty got a broken arm, but managed to get away and started throwing shit at him. Vyrnnus got out his knife when he realized he was losing and I wasn’t as lucky. I was in the hospital a long time. That first night was rough, but Ty got the ambulance there in time and he was in nursing school. Saved my life.”

“And Vyrnnus?”

Kaidan hunched his shoulders a little. “Dead. I got hold of a pipe from the overturned trash and managed to get a good swing in. There were cameras outside the apartment building where it happened, so everything was on camera. Vyrnnus had a lot of friends on base though, so they cleared me of all charges and thought it was best to let me go.”

There were no insults strong enough, so John bit his tongue. “And your parents found out because of the assault.”

Kaidan wiggled his hand. “Ma found out because of Ty visiting me in the hospital, she couldn’t stand to be there in court for all the grisly details and photos. Dad knows everything though. Took me camping as soon as I was better and he got time off.”

“Damn. Must have been a hell of a bonding trip.”

The laugh that John was quickling falling for made an appearance, making Kaidan’s eyes crinkle. “We got pretty drunk that first night, stayed up talking all night. We’d never been close when I was growing up, I was a momma’s boy and he was always busy. But things changed for the better after that. We started having regular hikes and camping trips.”

“That why you became a defender of wildlife?”

“Ha. Mostly. I also got my first console and started playing a lot of video games.”

“All right guys, soups on!” Gardener came out, expertly navigating the dogs and placing their dishes on the table. “And don’t worry about the bill, I owe you a couple favors. But if you want to leave a tip for Kelly, that’s fine.”

Blinking, Kaidan looked around. “Is she even here?”

“Yup. She’s been dealing with some assholes inside and I doubt they’re tipping. I’ll have her check in on ya. Have a good day, boys.”

“It was great meeting you, Rupert.” The older man gave them another mock salute and slipped back inside. Looking down, John saw a delicious bagel already spread with cream cheese and a wealth of ingredients to turn it into a sandwich, along with a fruit bowl. Mouth watering as he started building it, he peeked at Kaidan’s pancakes and generous side of bacon. “What is that?”

The ranger paused with an overloaded fork halfway to his mouth and looked down. “Jack Johnson pancakes. Cooked with walnuts and covered with bananas sautéed in butter and honey. They’re amazing. You want to try some?”

Damn, that did sound good and he didn’t really like bananas. “Sure. You want to try a bite?”

Cutting off a small portion and moving it to John’s plate, Kaidan shook his head. “I’m good thanks. Rupert will have breakfast nachos for me to snack on later.” Seeing the intrigued look on John’s face, Kaidan smiled and added, “I’ll ask him to make you some too. They’re pretty popular.”

“Uh, thanks.”

The bagel sandwich was great, the pancakes were amazing and the conversation even better. There were the usual starts and stops that came with a first date, but they weren’t awkward. Kaidan talked about the fort and the lighthouse and John learned that while it was part of his job to know things, he was a complete nerd about it all.

John admitted about liking model ships and even making a dollhouse for his friend’s daughter. He got sucked up in talking about the cheesy noir movies he loved; especially the cypher punk Blasto movies from the 80s. He pointed out Daisy’s custom Blasto collar that he got online.

Soon all that was left of the food were crumbs and the strawberries John forgot to warn Rupert he was allergic to. As they were walking the dogs back to the cars, John felt comfortable enough to ask about his side of the conversation left unsaid.

“How much did Jane tell you about us growing up?” He asked as Kaidan carefully stowed the To Go container on the dashboard where Maggie couldn’t get at it and the coffee cup Kelly had sent home with them.

“Well.” Letting Maggie in the backseat, Kaidan leaned against the side of his car and gave John his full attention. “She told me some things. Pretty vague, but I could stitch the pieces together. You can tell me whatever you’re comfortable with. The only things she mentioned about you were good memories.”

That sounded like Jane, always protecting him. Annoyingly so. “Yeah. It’s a pandora’s box that could take quite a while. I trust my sister’s judgement about you and more than anything, I’ve learned to trust my gut.”

“What does your gut say?” Kaidan asked.

“That you’re a good guy. A secret keeper.” And to quote his sister. “A good egg.”

Kaidan groaned. “I’m never going to live that down, am I? Well, I’m honored to have your trust. Just tell me at your own pace, yeah?”

“What is it with the egg thing?”

“In short: I was drunk, Tali was new to our group of friends and I was worried about accidentally insulting her.” The ranger side eyed him. “Harry Potter, huh?”

John laughed. “Yeah. I read it while I was laid up in the hospital. It was better than I thought it’d be.”

“Did you do the quiz to find out what house you were?”

“Oh, no. I guess that’s a thing, huh. What did you get? Was it Ravenclaw?”

Kaidan laughed. “Tell you what. You take the quiz and when we see each other next, we’ll share and compare. Maybe on a second date?”

That answered that question. “Sounds like a great plan.”

They stared at each other a moment, but with the first kiss already out of the way, John felt comfortable leaning down for another. Being a tall guy, most people he’d dated had been fairly short in comparison. Kaidan was only a few inches shorter than him, making it easy to slide together, their gentle kiss warming them up against the wind off of the water.

The kiss lasted until Daisy started getting impatient between them. She wriggled out of John’s coat to climb between them and attack Kaidan’s hair, so they reluctantly parted and bid each other goodbye.

Two weeks. Kaidan had said he was busy all this week and that he’d be gone another for the Forest Service seminar he was teaching and training at. That was too long and John was determined to see him again as soon as, as _often_ , as possible.

His gut told him good things were on the horizon.

~*N7*~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meet Daisy and Maggie in real life. Daisy I found on a shelter website and Maggie is the adventure pup of an old work friend.


	3. Someone Who Tastes Like Adventure

~*N7*~

  
The place Jane had inherited from a family friend was an old, large farmhouse. Back when it was built, the land had been nothing but farmland as far as the eye could see. Many years later, it was simply a residence that had lost many of its acres to a growing suburban neighborhood. His sister had taken to remodeling it room by room when she was on leave.

The long and twisting driveway surrounded by trees gave them all the privacy they would ever need from nosy neighbors and their backyard was too large to contain with a fence. They’d gotten an overhead cable they could attach Daisy’s leash to that ran a large part of the yard, but John had ordered a dog door and had been talking to his sister about building a dog run.

It was far from the horrors of their childhood and the sight of the house, finally a home for them, still inspired awe in him.

Daisy had napped on the way home when she realized the breakfast nachos were too far away for her and when he scooped her up, he could hear a tiny little snore. Grinning, he juggled the stack of games and carefully closed the heavy truck door so as not to wake the sleeping terror.

Inside, it was almost as cool as outside, several windows open to let in the fresh air and the scent of lilacs and fresh cut grass. Following a faint heat signature, he went into the kitchen to see the remains of breakfast and an open stove cooling off. Wondering where Jane was, he placed Daisy in her dog bed by the stairs and started exploring the upstairs.

He didn’t spot her until he was in the game room above the barn-turned-garage with his reheated nachos and the games spread out with their accompanying notes.

When his sister got the house, there had been an old tire swing hanging from the largest oak tree in the backyard. She’d since replaced it with a regular swing and loved to sit on it while drinking a beer and watching the sunset. Or rise, if it’d been a difficult night with memories chasing her. Something he was no stranger to.

She was on the wooden swing now, with Miranda in her lap facing her as they idly went back and forth. With the end of her leave coming soon, Jane had been spending as much time with her girlfriend as possible. He’d thought the woman a little clinical at first, not the usual sort his sister liked. Then before he knew it, Miranda was like another sibling to him, sending him postcards and care packages alongside his sister.

When he came home broken, she’d taken leave from her practice while his sister was stuck on patrol and helped him get through a difficult recovery.

It’s not the best angle, but he opened the window and carefully snapped a picture with his phone. Closing the window, he looked through the games. The ones with more notes are clearly Kaidan’s favorites and he decided on trying something different.

Hours later, Jane wandered in looking at her phone, mouth open to ask a question and got stalled by the sight of his leftovers. “Are those breakfast nachos?!”

Smug, John absently grinned as he focused on his character not dying. “Yup.”

“Fuck you very much for bringing some back for me.” She snagged the last couple potato medallions covered in cheese, bacon, tomato and jalapeños. Throwing herself into the other chair, she frowned at the screen. “What is this?”

“Skyrim.”

His open tablet screen on the coffee table drew her eye and she started scrolling through it. “Huh. You’d think all these mods would be already included in the game. Half of these are fixers. Are these notes?” She picked up one of Kaidan’s papers and her eyes went wide in glee. “Did he give you games to remember him by and you’re ruining them with MODS?”

Pausing the game, John turned to the evil annoyance behind him. “What’s wrong with mods?”

Cackling, Jane slid down and hooked her leg over the chair’s arm. “Nothing. Kaidan can just be particular. I recall several fervent arguments between him and Tali, mostly computer nerd speak, but they both play rpgs and had a whole debate about it. Our boy Kaidan is a purest. Thinks mods destroy game immersion.”

“You didn’t finish reading the note, did you?”

Jane raised an eyebrow at him as he went back to playing and flipped the paper. On the back it had a website with mod recommendations to check out. “Holy shit, he’s got it bad.”

John could feel his ears burn red even as excitement welled inside of him.

The games helped keep him busy when he wasn’t helping Jane with the house or working out, and the text messages Kaidan sent kept his step light. A godsend, because he’d never had so much free time in his life before and he was bored. His sister was interested in the sci-fi game about a commander saving the galaxy from total extinction and made her character look like her brother, even going as far to name him Amoeba.

Still determined to spend time with Kaidan, John tried not to be That Pushy Asshole while also explaining he didn’t care how they met throughout the week, he would just like to see him. The ranger had been worried about how little free time he had, but was also eager to see him. Their dates were little more than quick meals and after dinner drinks, but they were memorable. Some, because that was just John’s life, involving foiled mugging attempts as they left a bar, or saving a small dog named Laika from an abandoned car.

Some were John trying his hand at romance by getting a picnic lunch from Gardner to bring all the way out to the firewatch tower Kaidan was getting ready for the next occupant. That had definitely impressed the other man and with no one around besides the dogs leashed up outside, they’d spent far longer than they should have saying goodbye. Their lips didn’t leave each other until the radio kept crackling for attention and then they reluctantly pulled away from each other. Until that point, John had been tempted to shave off what hair had grown since his discharge, but the feeling of Kaidan’s hands in it killed that thought.

Kaidan tried to insist that John stayed home in bed instead of seeing him off on his trip at dark o’clock, more because of what a bear he was in the morning than anything, but John had cautiously met him at the door with a cup of coffee and a pastry from the all night cafe. Maggie had taken over host duties and demanded playtime in the small apartment as Kaidan got the rest of his things sorted.

John wished them safe travels and a pat on Maggie’s head and a peck on Kaidan’s cheek, with only a few words exchanged between them the entire morning. Because Kaidan had not over exaggerated about his morning self.

Then the new week started and he did his best to keep busy.

When he started feeling cabin fever, he hooked up Daisy to her harness and took her into the Old Port. It was the town hub, parallel to the wharf and lined with all sorts of shops, businesses, restaurants and the main post office. The side streets all still had cobblestone and the paved main street had tracks from the trolley that never ran anymore. Almost every store had a dog bowl of water outside the door and Daisy was a hit with everybody that passed by.

Usually he’d stop at the bakery and buy something to nibble on as he walked and did errands. Sometimes he’d go to the stalls right by the lobster boats and pick up fresh catches of the day for dinner. Seafood was something they’d rarely had growing up and they tended to indulge a lot these days.

He always stopped at the post office and checked in with Max at the front desk. John’s old captain had contacted him while he was recovering to tell him he’d been given a promotion and a new project. Anderson said he’d be in contact with him about a job, but had failed to mention how he’d do so, which meant many trips to see Max and many refreshes of his email.

There were also the missing postcards.

Since they’d parted ways due to mismatched career paths, the twins had started sending each other postcards from wherever they’d make their port: Boston. Alaska. London. United Arab Emirates. Afghanistan.

John had carried the stack of them until he’d moved in and neatly displayed them like wallpaper on one of his bedroom walls. The cards broke up the clean lines and added bright color, the only decoration he really had. Jane kept hers in albums above the fireplace and would sometimes stare at them with a lost look in her green eyes.

Once in a blue moon, the post cards got lost along the way, showing up months late or not at all.

Today was different. Today Max grinned wide at him as they greeted each other and she put aside her knitting to hand over his forwarded mail, placing a postcard on top.

Bemused, he looked down at the card while Daisy attacked his shoe laces and felt himself blush.

It was postmarked in Maine, with a silly lobster comic on front and most importantly, it was from a certain ranger.

Heart thudding, he flipped it over.

‘ _Hi John!_  
_Jane told me you guys always send each other postcards, so here’s another one for your collection! I can’t wait for our next adventure. Oio naa elealla alasse. Namarie~Kaidan_ ’

“That’s quite the smile there, Shep.” Max rested her chin in her hand and smirked at him.

“Like you didn’t read it.” He was too giddy to be mad, however. That last part was probably elvish, knowing his favorite nerd. Opening his phone, he started googling. “What’s the news around town?”

Leaning back in her chair, she picked up her current knitting project. It looked like a scarf. “Your sister says you do photography?”

“Uh. I haven’t used a proper camera in years, but I still take a lot of photos. Why?”

She pointed at the store front window where a display about the upcoming Harvest Festival had been advertised. “They have a bunch of contests. Some are silly like the pie eating contest, but there’s also this really cool one that the state’s doing to collect pictures for their advertisements. First prize is a fancy new camera and all sorts of fun new equipment. It’s probably too late to mail in a hardcopy, but you can still upload the entries to their website. Deadline is end of the month.”

God, John hadn’t done much more than Instagram in years, but it would be fun to get back in the habit at least. “Great, thanks.”

“Miranda mentioned you’ve been a bit antsy?”

“What tales has my future sister-in-law been telling you?”

Max shrugged. “Only that you’re used to being busier than you have been and you’ve been climbing the walls. Literally. If you’re looking for work, Jack Nought does a lot of side jobs and is always looking for temp help.”

He thanked her for the help and left, looking down to finally see the translation on his phone: _Ever is thy sight a joy. Farewell._

Cheeks aching from the grin on his face, they made their way to the tattoo parlor that Jack rented her chair at. Just as he spotted it by a bar on the corner, the front door slammed open hard enough to crack the glass and a man came running out. John watched him as he came tearing down the street, suspicious of his hurry. When the man pulled abreast of them and tried to kick a barking Daisy out of the way.

John saw red.

The small yipe wasn’t even fully out of her mouth and John had grabbed the back of the guys sweater amongst the fluttering of dropped mail. Before the asshole knew it, he had six foot seven inch of pissed off ex-marine slamming him into the nearest brick wall. When the unfortunate bastard tried to break loose, he yelled loudly as the pressure on his arm increased and made the mistake of looking at his captor.

John could only imagine the look on his face. All he could feel was the familiar cold fury he used to survive the streets with his sister as a dumb kid.

The guy’s eyes bulged in terror, but the two people that had been hot on his heels and moved to assist John made him pause before he gave into the instinct to break the guy’s arm.

“Police! Let him go, I got it from here.” The man in uniform running over already had his cuffs out and deftly took over.

As the cop started reciting the miranda and listing the asshole’s crimes, John immediately knelt down and looked at Daisy. The pitbull‘s ears were back and her neck was turtling, but the second John reached for her, she perked up and went scampering into his arms.

“You’re ok, you’re ok. Right?” He quickly ran his hands over her, checking for any serious injuries, but she seemed fine.

“Huh. Smooth moves. You ex-military?” The low voice made him look at the petite woman that had run over with the cop. Every inch of her very exposed skin was tattooed. Except for her pretty face, but John knew people like her.

They wore makeup like warpaint.

“Marines.”

“Oorah.” She grinned viciously while she gave a gentle skritch to Daisy’s shoulder. “If officer friendly hadn’t been here, I would have gladly looked the other way while-“

“Thanks, Jack. We got the picture.” The cop, L. Kosta according to his uniform, nodded at him. “You mind making a quick statement?”

“Not at all, officer.”

“Great. I’ll meet you at the tattoo parlor. Jack can show you.” Kosta had little trouble getting his suspect wrangled back towards the car lot across from the bar. The asshole was smart enough to realize he was safer with him.

“Who is that?” Holding the pup close, he stared the two down as they crossed the street. The one time the cuffed man looked back and saw him, he all but started running to the police cruiser.

“I like you, ‘Semper fi’.” Jack was holding his mail, blatantly going through it and even going as far as to open the netflix packet. “Ooo, what’s this? Atomic Blonde? Fuck me. I’ve been wanting to watch that.”

John raised an eyebrow down at her as they started towards the tattoo parlor. “That’s illegal, you know.”

“Well, you could try to throw me against the wall, but I’m not going down easy.” The woman’s compact muscle hadn’t escaped John’s notice. She flipped over the postcard next. “Is this from Alenko?”

Ears burning, John cleared his throat as they entered the parlor to escape the light drizzle forming. “You know Kaidan?”

“We teach a combat and defense class together at the rec center. Damn, did his balls finally drop? Or is he still being a shy little motherfucker?”

“We’re...dating.”

“Nice pause there, Romeo.”

Kosta came in and got both of their statements while Jack regaled the asshole’s many crimes. “The worst, of course, being that heinous tattoo. He came in to get it covered up, but Kosta and his partner had put out the word they were looking for him at all the local businesses.”

“Oh. Max at the post office mentioned you were looking for temp help?”

And just like that, her manner shifted. Eyes sharp on him, she sat up on the front counter. “Just temp?”

“My old captain said he’d be in contact with a job offer, but I don’t know when. Video games and house renovations are interesting for only so long.”

“And Alenko is off riding fucking moose and teaching jackoffs how to do their jobs. Wait, have you fucked yet?”

“Is your own sex life so boring?”John smirked at her. “Or are you an ex I need to be aware of?”

“Ooookay and I’m leaving. Thanks, guys.” Officer friendly gathered their statements and beat a hasty retreat.

“Mm.” She grinned at him. “Maybe an almost. K’s definitely got a great body. Flexibility. And I’ve certainly _heard things_.”

God.

Dammit.

John was fighting to keep hold of his imagination. For now.

“Too bad he’s so,” she waved her hand around and scrunched her nose.

“So?”

“ _Nice_. He’s a romantic and an idealist. No. I’m happy with my hellcat. Maybe you’ll get to meet her. Tell me, Semper fi.” Jack leaned over her crossed legs. “Whatcha got? I have more than a few things going on. I freelance everything from tats to four wheelers and business for the local PI.”

“You’re a Jack Of All Trades, huh?”

She stared at him as the joke fell flat and then promptly punched him on the shoulder. It actually hurt a bit. “Real original. How long did that one take you?”

“I’m surprised your business cards don’t have it emblazoned on them. I reall-” Another punch cut him off and he actually stood back a bit, wary.

“ _Fuck_!” She looked really pissed off. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

That night he came home with some job options and lobster for dinner. Miranda brought a dessert made from local blueberries and the infamous Tali he had yet to meet. She was brilliant, beautiful and hilarious. John was worried a moment about the shellfish being halal, but she assured him everything was fine and dinner was a huge success.

After everyone had left and Jane disappeared into the game room, he’d snuck a sleeping Daisy into her own bed by the stairs and hightailed it back to his room. By now, Jane had probably realized that was the equivalent of a sock on the door, but hadn’t commented. Yet.

The few messages from Kaidan during dinner had reminded him of his conversation with Jack. They’d left him imagining things.

What kind of lover was Kaidan? Flexibility certainly helped him think of a few favored positions and damn. That mouth.

With only the moonlight from his windows to see by, John slid his boxers down and ran his thumb along his dick, teasingly. The flesh was already hardening and it twitched at the touch. Breathing deeply, he cupped his balls and leaned back against his pillows and thought of Kaidan.

Of his own hand carding through that thick black hair.

Brown eyes looking up at him as he rubbed the crown of his cock around Kaidan’s full mouth, smearing precome and making his lips glisten.

Groaning, John kicked off his boxers and scooted down for leverage, wishing for his box of toys still in storage. He’d have to make do like he had been. Grabbing the small tube of lube out of his nightstand, he coated his hand and took hold of his erection.

Closed his eyes and imagined:

Kaidan’s mouth opening to take the head of his dick in his mouth as his hand fisted the tip.

Another man’s moan, muffled around his dick and obscene wet slurps.

The stubbled cheek against his other hand as he tried to feel himself in the other man’s mouth.

A mouth that was getting redder and wetter, swollen.

John had practice at being quiet, but it wasn’t easy to muffle the whine that escaped when he let a finger follow the dripping lube down to his hole and rubbed gently at the sensitive flesh.

Did Kaidan prefer to top or bottom? Maybe he was a switch like John. In this moment, Kaidan was pressing against the furl of tender flesh until it spread open around a finger and let him in.

Fisting his cock faster, John felt himself raise off the bed as he started fucking himself open, back bowed as he imagined the ranger with him, murmuring in a low voice.

On the nightstand, his phone vibrated against the wood with a new message. Probably from Kaidan.

Panting, he leaned over to read the message.

‘Oh, I’ve got some ideas for our next date.’

“ _Fuck_.”

John tugged at his cock frantically and eagerly let in a second finger, huffing and thighs shaking as he moved into different positions on the bed to get a better angle. When he came, he bit back the name in his mouth and collapsed back onto the bed to enjoy the aftershocks as he flexed around his fingers.

The phone buzzed against the table again and John started reaching for it, before remembering himself and stared at his hands.

Never before had he been so grateful for having his own bathroom.

  
~*N7*~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my Shepards will always save Laika. This is a thing now. Space Dog lives happily ever after.
> 
> Also, human Tali is always either Muslim or Indian to me. I wish I had more time to write her in.


	4. Even The Moon Has A Dark Side

~*N7*~

  
Jane was leaving in two days, but Kaidan was back tomorrow.

All week he’d kept busy. Leveling up his character in Skyrim or building in Fallout. Painting the house in vibrant colors with his sister. Keeping Jack out of trouble. Training Daisy. Coming up with new workout routines.

That morning before leaving to help with the zipline Jack included in her adventure tours, he’d walked back into the living room to see Miranda had arrived and Jane had abandoned morning yoga to pin her to the mat instead. He’d done an about face, set a new pad down for Daisy and made a hasty retreat.

It had been getting cooler and despite the reports of one last bout of warm weather on the horizon, Jack wanted to get the spring and summer stuff put away for winter so she could focus on all the winter adventures she had planned. She knew a lot of colorful characters and John had been making friends left and right.

Yesterday afternoon, he’d checked his messages while Jane tried to figure out the damn IKEA shelves for the downstairs bathroom. It took him a moment to figure out the image he was looking at and then he’d muttered a desperate ‘Be right back’ before tearing out of the small space and up to his room to claw frantically through the unopened box he’d brought from the base’s hospital. Then he’d sent back a picture of own his test results, free of STDs, to match Kaidan’s.

Leave it to his nerd to completely upturn his thoughts and libido in a completely practical way.

“Hey, Shepard. We’re going to get drinks and make bad decisions. You coming?” Jack leaned against the hood of his truck, wearing a crop top under her down vest while he had started religiously wearing a beanie and gloves.

“I’ll take a rain check. We’re doing dinner the next two nights before Janie leaves. You wanna crash?”

The much shorter woman laughed and punched him in the bicep. “I’ll rain check _that_. See what you Shepards get up behind closed doors. I could collect some great blackmail material.”

Music blared from her pants and she pulled out her phone. Looking at the text messages, John saw her face light up in soft way he’d never seen before as she typed out a reply.

“Good news?”

“Fucking awesome news! Looks like you and I are both staying in tonight. Hey losers!” Jack shouted back towards the group of people that had been working with them. “The missus is back early! Make sure you assholes get a video of Rodriguez this time!”

Laughing, John looked down at his own phone to see Jane had texted to tell him another person was joining them and to pick up more food on the way home. Feeling itchy from dried sweat and the good ache from a hard days work, he did just that, looking forward to a hot shower.

Driving up to the house, he was surprised to see Kaidan’s eyesore next to Miranda’s fancy Tesla. He swore at his sister under his breath for not warning him and grabbed the grocery bags, wondering if he could sneak in undetected, fully aware of his appearance and possible smell. The front door was the best bet and he tiptoed in, glad to see Daisy wasn’t near her bed and that the voices came from the family room in the back.

The grocery bags were placed on the island counter and he turned to make his escape upstairs.

“John?” Kaidan had been by the bar grabbing a shot of whiskey, watching him sneak around with amusement twisting at his lips.

Caught, he stared at the other man, drinking him in. The ranger looked tired, but still ridiculously attractive in a hoodie and worn jeans. Even his hair, usually so carefully styled, looked like he’d just let it air dry into waves that kept escaping onto his forehead.

“Kaidan. Hi.” God, that was dumb. And how did someone from the chair force get the jump on him?

“Why are you sneaking around in your own house?” Kaidan set down his glass and came closer.

“Um.”

Those brown eyes widened, catching in the light and turning golden. “Did you not get my text? I’m so sorry! I ran into Jane at the gas station when we got back, she invited me over for dinner. Is that ok?”

“Hey.” John leaned close and wrapped his arms around Kaidan’s waist. “I’m very happy to see you. I also just finished a day of labor for Jack and was hoping to sneak a shower first.”

Kaidan smiled at him and gave an eager kiss hello, wriggling his nose when he pulled back. “Gotcha. You go make yourself feel human again, I’ll help them get dinner together.”

“Thanks.” It was heartfelt.

“Anytime.” Kaidan gave him another kiss, this one lingering and threatening to turn into something else as he pushed the taller man into the wall, hand tight in his hair. When they separated, John was satisfied to see his eyes fixated on his lips, darkening further as he licked them.

Maggie’s excited boof and Daisy’s yips from the other room reminded them of their surroundings and they finally pulled apart. John took a fast shower, only pausing a moment to stretch out the kinks in his muscles under the hot water. When he came downstairs he found dinner was being served in the great room.

It was casual, all of them sitting around the large fireplace, on the floor or in chairs. The dogs begged for food as the humans caught up with each other over wine or beer. Kaidan had quite a few hilarious stories about the stupidity of tourists and Miranda chilling stories of her patients. Dinner was an easy cleanup, the disposable plates thrown away, leftover stuffed peppers divvied up amongst them in Tupperware and the pans left to soak overnight in the sink. Tomorrow night it would just be John and Jane, probably trying some new hole in the wall in the Old Port.

John showed Kaidan the game room and the ranger was eager to see the settlement builds he’d done in Fallout 4. The late hours found them curled against each other, playing the sci-fi game Jane had become so fond of with the only light coming from the tv and a small desk lamp in the corner.

“So what did she pick for her character?” Kaidan used his sentinel to cast a barrier around the team.

“Infiltrator, I think.” John sent in his vanguard to take out some of the zombie-like creatures that were flanking them. He’d made his guy’s armor Blasto pink and easy to find. “Last time I watched her play, she was in the middle of romancing that sniper. The turian? Kinda reminds me of my old squadmate, Garrus.”

“Ah. Yeah, he’s a favorite.” Kaidan murmured, focused on healing one of the other players.

“Who did you romance?”

“Hmm. I romanced the quarian, Rael? In my first playthrough. But then they allowed you to romance the first squadmate in the third game. And you know? I just, really liked their story.”

“Hmm.” Now John wanted to play the single player.

With the data caches all secured, their team finished the round and were all booted back to the multiplayer lobby.

“You wanna do another mission?”

Kaidan stretched, hands holding his controller high overhead and legs extending out towards the tv as his hips came off the couch. The yawn that escaped him was small and John found himself staring at the skin revealed by the rising hoodie. Had this been a hookup, his mouth would be on that skin, following the thin trail of coarse hair down as his fingers tugged at the opening to the worn jeans.

His lips found themselves there, regardless, leaving a chaste kiss on the warm skin. Kaidan eased back down out of his stretch, eyes on him and John waited. The tv beeped with players joining the group’s lobby and then leaving when they noticed the inactivity from the two other players.

Dropping the controller on the couch, Kaidan cupped John’s face, thumb stroking his cheekbone as they looked at each other. John broke the spell, leaning in and taking that mouth with his. The ranger started a bit and then opened his mouth to John’s, sliding his hands down to bring the taller man close.

It felt indulgent, being able to kiss without intent. Kaidan straddled him to get closer and there was the faint whistle of someone breathing sharply through their nose as their lips stayed together without pause. John captured his bottom lip, feeling Kaidan’s tongue tease his upper lip. The ranger still tasted faintly of whiskey and it was intoxicating.

As he let his tongue chase the flavor inside, Kaidan moaned and shifted until there was a warm bulge digging into John’s belly through their clothes. Then gentle teeth were nipping at his mouth and his jaw as John went exploring, tasting the warm skin of the ranger’s throat, worrying at the faint salt his tongue found in the hollow until Kaidan started rolling his hips into him.

“Oh my god.” It was a faint hiss that made the ex-marine glow with pride, his reward an answering lick at the corner of his jaw, followed by a less subtle bite.

Amused and turned on, John pulled back until they were nose to nose to joke, “Thought you said you were full after dessert?”

Kaidan grinned a bit sheepishly. “Sorry, it’s been awhile. Too much?”

“Maybe not enough,” John whispered back.

“Fuck.” Apparently the ranger did swear, when the occasion called for it. “You’re amazing.” He placed a kiss on John’s nose, startling him with it’s sweetness. “So beautiful.” Another kiss below each eye. “And you have such a big heart.”

“Whoa.” John squirmed, not wanting to move, but the words alarmed him. “I’m no saint, Kaidan.”

“Everyone has a dark side, John. Some are just bigger than others.” Kaidan kissed him gently and looked him dead in the eyes as his hands started exploring the skin under John’s shirt. “It’s what you do with those imperfections that matter.”

John stiffened as fingers grazed the edge of the scars he’d hidden under his shirt since his last day of physical therapy. There was quite the collection of them on his body, some as old as from when he was a small child, but the ugliest and largest were from the pieces of shrapnel they’d had to dig out of him in the field. The hand stilled immediately and withdrew, only to capture John’s hand and bring it up under the ranger’s hoodie.

There was nothing but warm skin, smooth over defined muscle he couldn’t wait to see, until there wasn’t. The scar from Vyrnnus. Jagged and thicker then he’d assumed, he traced the raised tissue as Kaidan’s hand returned to his side. The other man’s eyes closed and he hummed as John stroked the long scar from his rib cage to his stomach, careful to keep the touch firm.

“Feels nice. I got this over eight years ago and I’m still not used to people touching it.”

“You can feel it?” John asked, bringing his other hand up underneath to play against the soft skin on the other side.

Kaidan groaned a little bit, hips jerking as a curious thumb found a nipple. “There’s one part where the nerves are damaged, but the rest I can feel just fine. What about yours?”

“They hurt a lot in the beginning, but now they’re only a little sensitive sometimes.” John fought the urge to buck upwards and slowly unzipped Kaidan’s hoodie instead, waiting to see if he protested. The ranger caught on and helped him remove the sweater, peeling off his tank top after. Jack didn’t lie. The body before him was well defined, dark hair dusting his chest and leading down to the bugle in his jeans. “Damn.”

That made Kaidan laugh. “I’ll take that as a good ‘damn’ and not a bad one.”

“Exactly how it was intended.” Remembering his reaction earlier, John licked his thumb and started circling it around one of the dusky nipples. Kaidan cried out, curling towards him and gripping at his hips. “Sensitive nipples, huh?”

Huffing and leaning into the touch as the thumb spiraled towards the erect nub, the ranger nodded. “Y-yeah. You could say that.”

“Fuck, that’s sexy.” Gleefully, he added his other thumb to mirror the first.

Above him Kaidan shuddered and grabbed his hands, leaning forward and capturing his mouth in a hot kiss. “Let’s take it easy, huh?”

“Easy, huh. What’s easy?” John panted.

Easy was Kaidan pushing John into the couch, keeping his hands trapped and free from mischief as their kisses turned fevered. “This okay?”

John chuckled up at him, lips swollen and tingling. “You want my safe word?” He asked teasingly.

The ranger’s eyebrows lifted. “You have one?”

“You know what it means?”

Kaidan grinned down at him, smug. “I used to have a girlfriend who was into bdsm, so I know some things.” He licked the area over John’s nipple until the shirt was soaked through and then raked his teeth over the point of flesh. “She loved pegging me.”

“God have mercy,” John muttered, trying to find friction against the erection still trapped in his sweatpants. “So you like to bottom?”

“Mmhm.” Kaidan’s tongue followed the tendon on his neck up to his ear. “And top.”

John kissed him, pulling him close and frantically pulling at their pants. He managed to get his sweatpants down and underwear behind his balls, but Kaidan had to knock away his hands to undo his jeans and tug them down.

There was a small whine and scratch at the door. John cursed. “Not now, baby girl. Fuck, not now.”

Kaidan giggled as Daisy tried pawing under the door and slid their hips together. “She usually sleep with you?”

“Yes,” John hissed. “I know she shouldn’t and I’ve been weening her away. Mostly so I can masturbate to thoughts of you in those shorts.”

That caused Kaidan to moan. He licked his palm until it shone in the dim light and reached down to grab both of them. John followed his example and it took them only a moment to find a good rhythm, the slick sounds drowning out the tv and dog. It was more intimate than he’d ever allowed with anyone else, but he watched the ranger’s face as they panted the same air back and forth between them.

Kaidan came first, his brow screwing up and mouth slackening as his skin flushed dark. He lazily kissed John’s exposed collarbone as he curled into him and tugged at his lover’s cock, rubbing his thumb over the large mushroom head in a way he quickly realized he enjoyed. John followed him soon and then they were a boneless, sweaty heap on the couch.

Snuffling noises came from the door as Daisy tried to stick her nose under and John hoped to god that Jane didn’t hear her or come investigate. They could easily sneak away to his bedroom for a shower and clean clothes. As soon as they were ready. For now, he enjoyed the way Kaidan’s body pressed into him and the feel of his soft hair between his fingers.

“Out of curiosity, what _is_ your safe word?”

“Spider.”

Kaidan pondered this, trailing fingers over John’s bicep idly. “‘S good one.”

“I know.”

Silence and then: “Does this mean I have to be the spider killer in this relationship?”

“Absolutely, yes. It’s my one stipulation.”

“Hmm. Ok.”

~*N7*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s be honest, if someone says spider during sex, safe word or not you’re going to stop immediately.


	5. Take My Hand

~*N7*~

Just as the weather started getting warmer, Jane’s leave is up. The twins spend her last day together: playing video games, talking about the renovations, trying new food. It’s harder saying goodbye than in the past, John’s been through a lot the last year, but they’ve been through worse. So much worse, together.

Miranda is the one to drive her out to the cutter she’ll be patrolling with, the _USRC Normandy_. Jane had frequently told him stories and sent messages of the crews she’s worked with over the years. He knows she’ll be reunited this trip with Edie and Joker, two of her favorites and also two who cause so much mischief with her.

John kept busy, grateful for Daisy to keep him company, as well as the newest edition to their family: Sir Chitter Chatter. Also known as Boo, Daisy just showed up one day with the hamster on her head after playing outside and they ended up just adopting him and building the largest cage in one of the empty rooms.

The photography contest was over, he’d stayed up the last night it was open to add his entries. He’d been almost too anxious to submit, but Jane had learned about it from Max and strong armed him into it. Literally. Knowing only the top three winners and their pictures would be revealed, he felt freedom in choosing what he wanted.

The picture he’d taken of Kaidan on top the firewatch tower made it into the entries.

After, he’d felt uplifted and went through the process of recovering his Instagram account and spammed it with other photos in the following days. It’s easy to find Kaidan’s, active in most part to promote positivity for the forest rangers. Finally he’s able to put faces to the names he’s heard and there’s also a heartwarming picture of the ranger holding a baby black bear.

As an Indian Summer hit them and he’s texting Kaidan about their next date (why do I need trunks, Kaidan?), he got a phone call.

“Shepard.”

“It’s good to hear your voice, son. I’m sorry it’s been so long. How have you been?”

It’s been many months since they last spoke, but John knew that baritone anywhere. David Anderson was the closest thing he’s had to a father figure since his own died when he was eight, and easily the best superior he’s ever worked under. They catch up on the serious stuff, the small stuff and then over an hour later, it came up.

“We’re creating a new training program. It’s exclusive to men and women who’ve more than proven themselves in the field, from every branch in the military. It’s a large undergoing, but we have high hopes and better expectations that some of the ops you’ve had to work on in the past. I’ll send a serviceman with an envelope detailing everything. We’re calling it the N program for now. I want you to be one of the instructors.”

“I’m not even a part of the service anymore, sir.” John answered numbly, feeling blindsided.

“You don’t have to be. I’ve shared your history with the other departments and we’re all in agreement that you’d be nothing less than a key asset.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll at least thing about it.”

For most of the conversation he’d been staring at his computer screen blankly, trying to process it all. Now he focused on the pictures still up on the page. “I found someone, David.”

Sensing the shift in conversation, Anderson released a breath. When he answered, his tone was warm. “Have you?”

“Yeah. We haven’t known each other long, but already I can tell this one is different. And.”

“And?” Anderson’s patient, as he always was.

“He’s really attached to his trees.”

“Ah. This is Kaidan?”

Feeling caught, John has to wonder how much he’d been going on about the ranger and hunched his shoulders a bit. “Yeah.”

“I’m happy for you. A lot of people were worried about you when we sent you home. I’m glad you’ve come so far, John.” There was a brief pause. “There’ve been quite a few arguments about where to host the program, no one can seem to agree on one location or another.”

“That doesn’t surprise me, sir.”

“And why is that, I wonder?”

Grinning, John pulled up a map of North and South America. “Is that sarcasm, sir?”

Anderson made a non-committal noise. “Tell me.”

“You already know what I’m going to say. The kind of special ops program you’re alluding to needs every kind of extreme condition, not just one or two. You want to hone the best soldiers, you have to throw everything at them. Some things can be taught, others can’t. That’s how you find what you need for this ‘N’ program.”

“My thoughts exactly. Maybe coming from you I can get these idiots to listen to reason. If we can get a satellite location posted by you, would you be interested?”

A year ago he’d come home and had to suffer several surgeries and enough physical therapy to last a lifetime. When he’d finally passed his psych tests, they’d let him come _home_ to his sister. That itch he’d been trying to scratch by keeping busy, overloading his hobbies and helping Jane and Jack, was never enough.

“Absolutely.”

“Excellent. At the worst, we could always retain you as an official consultant. You’ll be amused to know your reputation got even more of a boost after that last mission. Vakarian has been pouting non-stop about it.”

“How is that bastard?”

“You can find out yourself. He heard you’d be offered a position and immediately took my offer to join on. Quite a few of your old squad mates are interested.”

“Careful, sir. That could be seen as bias.” John couldn’t stop smiling, his cheeks hurt and god! His eyes were burning.

Anderson snorted. “You have a good team with every member as strong as the next, you don’t break that up unless it's necessary.” He goes into what detail he can over the phone and when they end the call, John was giddy and promptly goes to hunt down a blank postcard to send to Jane about the job offer.

The next day Kaidan picked him up for the camping date he’d been planning all week and John told him about it after they drop the dogs off at Jack and Ashley’s place. The Land Rover is overloaded with more than what he thinks they need, but he has the burning suspicion that Kaidan is trying to make this trip as fun and comfortable as possible. As they stop in the Old Port for ‘one last thing’, John concluded his story.

Throwing the car into park, Kaidan watched him a moment and smiled as he grabbed John’s hand. “You told him you wanted to stay and see where this goes?”

“Yeah,” John said quietly.

“That makes me so happy.” Kaidan kissed him softly and keeps grinning. “And there are benefits to that happiness.”

Heart thudding, John snuck another kiss. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

Looking up, he saw they were parked outside the post office. “Did you need to pick up a package?”

Kaidan smirked and got out, gesturing for him to follow inside. “Hey, Max! Morning, Sam!”

Max was behind the counter as usual, waving at them as she helped a customer. There was a dark skinned woman behind the counter wearing a suit jacket with jeans who looked up and greeted them with a smile. “Kaidan! And this must be the infamous other Shepard. We’ve heard quite a bit about you. I’m Samantha Traynor, but everyone calls me Sam.”

John shook her hand. “Good to meet you. You work with Max?”

Sam waved her hand. “Goodness no. I work with-Kaidan! You didn’t tell him?”

“Nope.” Kaidan smirked at them both and tucked his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants. “Thought I’d let you share the good news.”

Rolling her eyes at him, Sam reached under the counter and placed a large box with a bow on the counter. “Ta da! Congratulations! You’re the winner of the contest.”

John stared at the box proclaiming the contents. “What?”

“We had a lot of great entries this year, but we adored the series you submitted. The pictures were very lovely, but the way you managed to capture the town with an outsider’s eye was breathtaking. My favorite was of the chess board etched into the stone table in the park’s gazebo, I didn’t even know it was there! I’ll have to play there sometime. The one of Kaidan wasn’t too shabby either.” She winked at them. “I have a feeling you broke some hearts with that one.”

“Thank you.” John held the box reverently, eyes already memorizing the camera’s features listed on the side.

“Thank _you_ , John Shepard. We might be doing this again next year, I hope you’ll submit again. I’ve got to run! Lunch date with a biologist. Wish me luck.”

Kaidan grinned at her. “You don’t need it, but good luck.”

“Have fun on your trip!”

Waving goodbye, the ranger turned back to him. “She contacted me yesterday because the submission garbled your phone number and I said we’d drop by. Hope you don’t mind.”

John kissed him and as soon as they were back in the car he was opening the box and reading the manual. By the time they were on the turnpike he had the camera out and was charging it while he looked through the accessories.

“The campsite we’re going to has been down for renovations, we’ll have the place to ourselves. The other rangers know we’re there in case of emergencies, but it’s all safe. The bears are all going into hibernation. There might be snakes out, but you rarely see them so close to such a populated area and there are a ton of squirrels.”

“Squirrels hunt snakes?” John stared at him.

“Not really. Most adults are impervious to snake venom and deal some heavy damage if attacked, but they will definitely steal any food we leave out.”

“Ah. Noted.”

It’s only another forty minutes and then they’ve picked a campsite. The tent Kaidan brought is a big one and easy to assemble. Inside he laid down a heavy foam mat and a thin air mattress underneath the sleeping bags that they zipped together. The weather had maintained its promise of warmth, but there's a space heater just in case. They weighed the beer down in the cold stream nearby and set up a solar shower on a branch, since Kaidan explained the showers by the restrooms will have freezing water.

It has all the comforts of home and while John wants to take a real camping trip with Kaidan one day, it’s pretty amazing.

“So, wanna tell me why Jack was trying to warn me about your dark passenger this morning?”

Looking up from where he’s organizing the food in the car, he saw that Kaidan’s amused. “My what?”

“Dark passenger. She used to watch Dexter when we were still roommates. In the show it refers to the thing inside Dexter that drives him to kill.”

“Oh.” John finished rearranging the items in the cooler and closed it to turn and face Kaidan properly. “How about that whiskey?”

“Sure. You want to set it up and I’ll start dinner?”

He nodded and all but ran to get the whiskey he’d seen stashed in the backseat like an afterthought. The music from John’s phone was the only sound aside from the gentle breeze through the trees and the stream nearby, but it’s a pleasant silence. Kaidan doesn’t push him and soon they’re relaxing in chairs by the fire, eating kebabs and sipping whiskey until John felt able to formulate his thoughts.

“So. Our dad died in the service when we were eight and it all kind of went to shit.” Kaidan looked up as he started speaking. “Our mother wasn’t big on kids and very career driven, so she sent us to live with our aunts. They were pretty great, had a cousin that was two. For a few years, we had a pretty good life. Then our aunts died in a car crash on the way back from a date night. Our cousin went to live with his godparents and we went into foster care until they could get hold of our mother. Spoiler alert,” John sent Kaidan a wry smile. “They couldn’t get hold of her right away. And of course we hated her. Any kid would, put in that circumstance. We ran away from foster care, thought we’d go on an adventure, raise ourselves.”

John sighed heavily and Kaidan held out his hand. Taking it, he rubbed his thumb along the lifeline. “We ran around as street rats for awhile before we realized we wouldn’t last long on our own. We were stupid and let ourselves get adopted into this gang rather than find our way back through shelters. It was rough. We did things I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to talk about, but we survived. We stuck together. We got out. The only smart thing I think we ever did was not giving them our real names.”

Tangling their fingers together, he squeezed the warm hand in his, watching as the sun set over the mountains and trees. “I wasn’t just in the marines. They recognized early on the tenacity I had for surviving and put me in a special ops group. Completely off the record. It got pretty shady, I started wondering about the spots on my soul. Then Anderson took over the squad and things changed for the better. Still had to do a lot of hard things, but I never doubted they were for the right reasons. Not with him.”

He gave a grim smile to Kaidan. “Sometimes that ‘dark passenger’ I developed to survive likes to poke his ugly head out, but I’ve gotten pretty good at denying him.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course.”

With that weight off his shoulders, things continued on smoothly. The new camera got a lot of use as he took shot after shot, everything from their campfire to Kaidan entertaining himself with a book he brought. It got dark early this time of year, so after he was done playing with the night features on his new toy, he let the chill of the night chase him into the tent and happily let Kaidan spoon him until he was warm enough for some nocturnal activities.

The next day he woke early to make coffee for ‘zombie Kaidan’ so the man could wake enough to make breakfast. While John was an okay cook, he was fast learning that his lover was adept at campfire cooking. A filling breakfast later they were hiking uphill after securing their camp.

“So where are we going?” he asked when they left the trail far behind.

Kaidan grinned at him. “You packed your trunks, right?”

John stopped and stared at him. “Wait. Please tell me you’re taking me to the hot springs Ryder talked about.”

Kaidan winked and started forward again. John caught up to the ranger and grabbed his hand, having quickly grown a fondness for the sappy display.

The hot springs were a series of small pools, some directly connected to each other, all of them just a slight offshoot from a stream carrying water down the mountain. They were surrounded by cliff faces and had not a soul in sight.

“So. No skinny dipping, huh? I guess-“ John turned around and stopped to watch as Kaidan undressed to nothing. It was the first time he’d seen him completely naked without obstruction and he happily shut up to get his fill of the trim body before him. All copper skin and dark hair, the Vyrnnus scar, the small rake of baby bear claws over one hip and the soft cock that was perking up.

“You can wear your shorts if you want, but I really just brought mine in case one of the other ranger’s decided to be a dick. No ones else comes up here this time of year.” He sauntered into one of the pools, showing off that ass John was quickly becoming obsessed with.

Stripping in record time, he all but ran into the spring and Kaidan met him with a kiss. “I have to warn you, sex in a spring isn’t exactly safe.”

John could feel the childish pout on his face, but the ranger laughed and kissed it away, promising to make it up to him in the big bathtub at the farmhouse.

The water was just above luke warm and with the air carrying the scent of late autumn, it was quite the romantic spot. They behaved themselves, for the most part. John showed off his back massage techniques and Kaidan his foot rubs, all while sharing kisses and idle thoughts until they started to prune. Then they pulled themselves out to lay on towels and snacked on sandwiches until they were dry.

That night after a shower, John put on the long johns Jane had gotten him as a gag gift after all the times he’d complained about being cold. He’d posed ridiculously on the bedding with a skewer of unroasted marshmallows in his mouth like a rose until Kaidan found him, torn between laughter and intrigue. The sex after dinner was incredible. To say Kaidan was a fan was an understatement, so distracted he put the condom on inside out and had to replace it with another as they laughed their asses off. The underwear stayed on as Kaidan fucked him with the butt flap down and the front unbuttoned just enough to free his cock.

When all was said and done, they needed another round, another shower (they got creative with the chocolate for the s’mores) and neither wanted to go home.

But the cold started coming back a day earlier than predicted and they broke camp, getting everything put back in the Rover. Along with John’s new camera and it’s dozens of pictures.

On the way home, Kaidan got an unexpected phone call. He answered it, used to work calls.

“Morning, this is Ranger Alenko.”

Silence and then an unfamiliar voice on the speaker, “Hi, baby.”

“Mom?” Kaidan glanced at John. “Hey. What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, are you driving?”

“Yeah, we’re on our way back from a camping trip.”

“We?”

Frowning, Kaidan looked back at John, letting him know the conversation was an odd one. He made a motion with his hands, offering to take over driving, but his lover shook his head. “Yeah, John and I. He’s-” They hadn’t really identified their relationship to each other yet, “my boyfriend.” That earned him a peck of reassurance on the cheek, and Kaidan grinned at him stupidly.

“John Shepard.”

Confused and mildly alarmed, Kaidan had to ask, “Ma, what’s this about?”

Another brief silence and John was just beginning to wonder if they lost the call when, “Your father and I, we saw the photo contest results. He’s very talented. John.”

“Yes, he is.”

Despite the awkward conversation, John felt a slight glow.

“Does he know? About the Air Force?”

“Yes.”

“About the. Discharge?”

“Yes, he does.”

“About.” She choked up a bit. “About the sergeant?”

“He knows everything, ma.”

“Oh baby,” she cried, sniffing. That was his cue to pull over, staring at the space between his hands on the steering wheel. “Your father and I. We just had a talk.”

“You mean a fight,” he countered as John’s hand rubbed consolingly at the back of his neck.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “I saw the pictures and got upset, so upset, about...him. And your father. He told me. About the attack.”

John didn’t even think Kaidan realized he was crying. He practically climbed over the middle console after undoing his seatbelt and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend as his face turned red and lashes stuck together from the heavy drops falling down his face.

“I’m so sorry. So sorry, baby. I almost lost you, I didn’t realize how bad it was and it was because he thought you were _wrong_ and I just. I was the _same_! The same as him and I can’t-“

John held him as he cried and reassured Mrs. Alenko they’d contact her when they got back to town. That night he stayed over at Kaidan’s apartment after picking up the dogs. They surround him on the bed until morning, protective and comforting. John made a simple breakfast of waffles and coffee, before sending him on his way to meet his mother for an overdue talk at the fancy hotel downtown.

Feeling at a bit of a loss, he wandered along the Old Port with Daisy until he reached the pier at the end and followed it out. Grateful for the beanie and stealing Kaidan’s jacket from the car, he sat on a bench and watched the gulls over the waves with the pup tucked inside the coat. Right now the Alenkos were clearing the air and things looked good for them. It made him wonder.

“What do you think, Janie, huh? Should we have forgiven mom after that letter she sent us on our twenty first?”

~*N7*~

“That was a joke.”

“Really, Edie? Because your joking face looks a lot like your Let’s Mess With Joker face. Shepard, back me up here.”

Jane smirked at them as she left the room. “Sorry, kids. I should go. The high seas await me.”

“Does anyone else notice that’s a repetitive statement of hers?”

Closing the door behind her and bracing against the sharp wind off the water, she started for the stern, thoughts far behind her on the land they’d left behind.

Carefully, she took out the postcard she always carried close, nail running along the edge where it was stained with her brother’s blood. Her blood. It was postmarked in Cairo, but she knew that was nowhere near where it’d been carried.

‘ _Janie,_  
 _The squall is strong and though the ship sturdy, the captain has gone ashore. The crew is trying all they can to stay afloat, but the cargo may be lost. It may be time to cut down the main mast and fight one last time. ~John_ ’

The fake naval speak had amused her years ago, but now it was how they spoke to one another without betraying their fragility to anyone listening in. She’d received the card right after hearing about John’s fate in the ‘marines’ and it had left her terrified. He didn’t know she’d gotten his last card and maybe it was because she was being overprotective of him. That she thought he hadn’t been ready to see it again.

Miranda had been a godsend, traveling down to help him while she’d been stuck busting some small time drug dealer trying to cross the border.

But Kaidan?

Jane smiled and tucked the postcard away. Maybe it was time to add the card to the album and finish off another chapter in the Shepard’s story.

 

 

 

ENDEND

  
~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s funny. This whole fic was about the part where they met and the camping date, everything inbetween was filler. But then the camping date was just a whooosh. Ah, well. It prob seems rushed at the end there. Which it totally was.
> 
> Thanks for taking this journey with me!

**Author's Note:**

> Oh lordy, this was quite the undertaking. I did quite a bit more than 2500 words and had to spend literally the entire night before posting to fix the story because of a miscommunication, BUT I GOT IT DONE, even when I was tempted to delete everything after part 1.
> 
> Almost every location in this fic is based off of real locations from my childhood, thus this is pure self indulgence.
> 
> See if you can spot some eggs, I like hiding them in there.
> 
> FOR MAXREV, I love you girl.
> 
> And thanks to JeanneDarcPrice for the beta!!


End file.
